I thought I might share our bedtime extravaganza.

My children love bed time. before we dream we build a castle or two. we swim with creatures that are unheard of. Most of the time I cannot pronounce the names of these great creatures. But they are very nice creatures. Next we visit old king Cole and humpty dumpty… maybe even go on this boat where the wild things are. Fly to neverland or be most prosperous outlaws. Imagination is very very important to my children and to myself. Yes you will find me on top of the kitchen table or under it for that matter. but I wouldn’t have it any other way.I believe that you learn most as when you are imagining your flying through the sky or climbing a tree.

Zaine ready for bed.

George gets a great goodnight kiss. (Maddens favorite buddy)

Superman ZAINE!!!! Zaine’s neat neat aka blanket, his favorite buddy)

Madden is in love with books like his momma.

night night brother. (Zaine always says to Madden when the lights turn out).

Sweet Home Alabama

I went to see my grandmother again, as you all may know she lives in the great state of Alabama, I love the journey to the place that sweetens my soul. The Flea markets are phenomenal, but it seems to bother me. As I went to the flea markets with my grandfather I realized and it became sad to me that it wasn’t just fun filled day of shopping for antiques. Some people well most of them was shopping for survival. They were frantic of all sorts. Getting the last bit of food for the farmers market. Clothing that was eighty years old they would snag like it was no tomorrow, don’t get me wrong I love the clothes but I had no game in this… they fought. and won. It didn’t bother me a bit. I just smiled as my heart would ache. As I walked on a mother caught my eye. I was walking right past her. She was holding an infant seat the kind you carry when there is a little tot that was only born a few months prior, yes I did get very excited, wondering what this baby looked like and how cute it was… as she walked past I gently turned my head and to my surprise it wasn’t a baby at all, it was two years of age maybe a little older. spoiled at my actions, how in the name of God does that baby fit in that tiny little seat? I realized that this world is more than I know. As I left I turned to my popee and said this sad so very sad. But they did not look sad, they did not ponder. My soul was aching it hurt so much and I realized I was so very blessed. I am not the riches folk in the pot I have had some life changes. But I still get taken care of. I guess I am trying to say is that I have never fought for food. and it hurts to think someone out there is fighting. I wrap this up I got into the car and silently said a prayer to take the hold of depression away. and in my mind one day the ones that believe in our God will stand with me and live in heaven for eternity. I cannot wait for our home sweet home.

A Mother Named Emily

i don’t even know where to began, Some times life is cut  short for children, unknown facts are the questions of why? Why do children suffer everyday? shouldn’t the adults suffer? My mind racing, talking to a dear friend of mine I keep with my heart everyday.. I awake in the morning rise and say a little prayer for this world and for Braydon and a mother name Emily. I stay back and I watch. Not meaning to stress her and call her all of the time. Not Knowing of her feelings of the day I keep my distance. But I am still there whenever she needs me.   Emily is different. and I adore her for this. Since the day her son was born he has FOUGHT in sickness. When will she get a break?  Is sickness a lesson?  What does it teach. I'm very consumed with Braydon and his mother. SHE is so STRONG. She looks at life everyday and thanks God for breathing and having her son stay another day. Unlike most she cherishes the days. Fighting for two, and  for others on 9w.  Every time I think of this little man I cry. yes tears shoot out of my eyes and I take a deep breath. Not knowing the pain they go through. I could only imagine if my little tots were in the same position, I wouldn’t be sane.  Today Braydon’s very best friend that has suffered and has fought for his life. has come to an end. He  has passed. I know God has a plan and he’s the man upstairs that knows what he is doing. But I believe its mothers trial to stand on shifted sand and say “ I believe in you Father and I have every hope that you are here with  me. I surrender to you God, and I give you my son. he is yours and he always has been”. Some times you just have to step back and let God do what he needs to do and surrender.

I love you Emily.

Lou

 

    Last evening I was setting on the computer, as I always do.

I here my mother up on top of the stairs and she's pacing.

As she calls my name, I don’t ponder I immediately jump

up knowing my mother needs me.  The sound of her voice

is wrong. So very wrong… I come up the stairs to see the

look of a lose in her eyes.  I ask “what is the matter”?

She started to sob. She says “he's gone” Lou is gone.

For a second in a half I thought to myself.

Who in Gods earth is Lou? But it hit.

It was the man that my mother took care of for seven years.

His Wife now Widow called my mother late.

Knowing my mother would be there. She just wept.

I learned a valuable lesson this night.

The widow of Lou was with man for 65 years.

I stopped in my tracks and the world came to a blur in my eyes.

If they can do it I can do, I said to myself. 

When I was flying in the sky. Like a bird.

I found myself at a halt. Thinking that we are so little and the world is so big. It goes on and on.

Everyone day by day does the same thing. Work, Farm, Chidren, etc.

Does anyone stop and look at your lover, and just say I love you?

My answer to that question is no. I never do. and now that Lou is gone It took a life to see my husband.

Thank Lou,

for saving my marriage.

She was 16

We just turned 16 my friend Jessica and I. Living a life girls were suppose too. Liking the same boys, same music,and having the same friends. I remember very clearly that August summer night I was suppose to hangout with her. It was six years ago that deadly crash took her life.

She was 16.

I never was the same afterwards, I hung around books in the library a lot, turning to a story to keep from hitting reality. I pulled away from my friends I loved so much. And now on this very night I have finally cried. My reality of my friend in the cold ground has come to haunt me. And the haunting past has realistically hit my soul. I miss that girl that was only 16. As I lye on the floor my soul has finally come to a morn. Expecting to go on with life as my body gets older. I feel selfish in my own skin. See when your only 16 you think your invincible, nothing in this world could ever happen to me. and it does, every day.  So as I go on with my life as I'm suppose to.  I will count my blessing. and live life. Because sometimes you don’t get another day to awake. So this blog is to Jessica.  The one I think about every now and then. and tonight you are with me. and only for a second did I close my eyes and become 16 again. 

Children dream

 

I hold on to the past as it kisses me goodbye.

Knowing my children is getting ready to fly.

Loving every bit of their superman pajamas.

and sailing with pirates and fighting the dragons as they brush there teeth under the sea.

and farewell to the moon as it kisses their cheeks.

Dream big my little ones. as you go into another world.

hopefully you find that big weeping  willow.  And swing swing to the top of that tree with the sing from momma me.

Race down the stars and over the moon, keep the dance as you whistle that tune. 

as there breathing settles and I watch them asleep.

I know what they are dreaming, as when I was little sheep.

wishing I could be there when they are fast asleep.

I have always wondered as a child how my life would turn out.

a fairy tale? No its more than that. it more than an imagination.

I can feel them see them and it takes my breath away.

makes me wonder why God has chosen me,

he has given me two souls, to take care of and to nurture.

alittle seed of alittle faith and as I water them with love they grow.

and I believe.

It seems as if I turn my head for a minute and they turn one.

next thing I will know there thirty. With their own families.

and God will give them a seed or two to grow. It makes me

happy to know that my soul is deep within them and they are a

part of me. A part of me lives on.

I love them more than any possible thing I have ever owned or

lived for. It hurts to know that my body goes into an ache that

feels so good that I have some tots that love me.

I love them tots of mine.